Vampires vs Schools
by BlackPuma137
Summary: The vampire gang begin adventures at school. Disclaimer: these characters and the books they belong to are Stephenie Meyer's.
1. Equipment Closets

**Vampires VS. School**

_Author's Note: This idea came to me as a daydream, and soon I scoffed it off, until I realized that maybe I shouldn't just read fan fiction, but write it too. So here it is: Edward's and Bella's escapades in school. I might or might not make this a one-shot; it depends on the current novels or school. The first p.o.v. is Bella's. I've worked on this awhile—I wanted Bella to be a vampire, because this would never happen while she was a human but creating new Mike's, Tyler's, Lauren's, and Jessica's seems incredible risky, but I hope you enjoy. Also, I borrowed the Alice/Jasper thing from LindaRoo, I believe, but both she and Marcy are inspirations for this piece! Look for them in my favorite authors._

In my mind, I sighed. I tried to focus on Romeo and Juliet's dialect explained extensively...yet again. I tried, and failed. I had just been over this way to many times. It was our third high school since the one in New Jersey, with the "peanuts" episode. Edward, though accustomed to hearing rather disgusting and unconventional thoughts about me (the Eric swimming episode, anyone?) couldn't contain himself easily with the new, extra hot thoughts about Bella the vampire, apparently. Of course, this was hilarious to Emmett, until Edward kept repeating to him the thoughts containing Rosalie, and he accidentally broke a students...part. How he did this is unbeknownst to me, as whenever I prod Edward about it, he erupts in a volcano of laughter.

Smiling to myself at the memory of it, I finished my notes off and, ignoring the Mike/Tyler/Eric reminiscences drooling at me, put my shield back up at Edward in his psychics class (this was the only class we didn't have together), though it strained me to do so—I was already concentrating on not eating my unfortunate classmates. Which had been giving pretty good; ever since I started school two years after the whole Volturi thing. This time, in Illinois. The added fact that Renesmee wasn't with me was an extra strain on my back. But forever with her and my Edward would be enough, I supposed...

Suddenly, the ear piercing scream of the bell rang, disturbing my inner reflections. I most gratefully gathered my things and practically ran to my locker, where Edward was already waiting, leaning against it. I heard the boys in the hallway sigh as he kissed his way from my collarbone to my lips, light and feathery. There goes my shield... I pushed him against the locker, and we passionately locked lips. His kiss ran thrills down my back, and I wanted so bad to continue it, but I broke off and stared at my Edward, at his golden eyes. I inhaled his honey-lilac-sun perfume gratefully—as if it was my drug.

"Hey heroine!" I said.

"You stole my line, lamb!" Edward smirked.

"Hah! I'm not a lamb anymore, must I remind you, my dear husband."

"Ah, you must. And you must know, I love it when you say that."

I smiled, too his hand, and led him down to the lunchroom, though I ached so bad to take him, right then and there. I could tell he, too, wanted it, and I smiled mischievously at him.

Edward grimaced, released his hand from mine, snaking it around my waist, pulling my closer to him. "They're almost worse than Forks!" he groaned. I took my eyes off him reluctantly, and glanced at the nearest boy. Odd how easily we got encased in our own bubble. The look on his face sickened me enough, and I put my shield up for Edward. If his look betrays anything close to what he was thinking, my poor Edward would be seriously cringing. At least on the inside. Though he looked at me gratefully as I reinforced the shield, he looked disapprovingly too. I shrugged.

"It's only if you kiss it off that it gets hard." I winked, then frowned as the boys nearest me nearly to choked to death on their food. Edward glared, but I leaped onto my toes and kissed his cheek, laughing. "Excusez-moi, but if _I_ could overreact to those humans like you, I'd be a drama queen 24/7."

Edward flinched as he stared down, yet again, another sophomore with a rather lusty expression on his face..."Yes, but these...measly boys, drooling all over my _wife_!"

"Oh, chill out. You _know_ I never look twice at anyone but you. Forever," I replied.

"Mmm, that sounds good. But--"

"No butts. Well, I love _yours_, but...that's another thing altogether I suppose."

Edward stared at me hungrily. Emmett snicked as we sat down, Edward's eyes still roaming my skinny jeans and blue blouse. I winked at Emmett and laughed. Jasper raised his eyebrows, surprised as always, that I could contain myself. I answered his questions before he could ask.

"It's Renesmee. When I feel myself going overboard, I rein myself back again."

Alice smirked. "Ha! Not the way _I_ saw it. You still have those...clothes?"

I rolled my eyes. "I actually gave them to Rose. I don't need those for what we do."

Edward groaned. "Now we're never going to have peace in the house. Not with Emmett."

Everyone laughed quietly, except for Emmett. Instead, he was gazing at Rosalie, who winked at him.

"Well, I suppose I'm not the only one getting lucky..." I trailed off softly.

Emmett, with a great deal of self control, barely restrained himself from making yet another joke, and I laughed. As before, the hearts of the boys around me began thumping extra hard as they heard my vampiric bell-peals rang through the cafeteria, and then extra hard as we all joined. I winced, and tried to reinforce the shield around Edward.

Alice sighed. "Bella, he's just going to have to get used to it."

Edward was fiercely glaring at Tommy, a rather popular boy looking at me with a rather certain expression...Edward reached over, grabbing my waist, and, ignoring my cries of distaste, pulled me onto his lap. Cradling me like a baby, he turned me away from the rest of the cafeteria.

"Edward!" I reproached.

"I want to eat without these male distractions!" he pleaded, in that worshipful velvety tone.

Before I could say anything else, he kissed me again, full on the mouth. And then, of course, I could no longer resist. I kissed him back, harder and harder, until he let out another groan. My shield dropped, and I reached for his belt, as I so often did every night. I completely forgot where I was...until suddenly I felt...angry. I stopped, then realized, through slow, sluggish thoughts _Jasper_ was doing this. I tried pushing the anger away, and slowly Jasper realized I was in control.

Thank Renesmee I could no longer blush. If I could, I would no doubt be red as cherry—no, redder—with embarrassment. For Edward I could not say the same. His eyes were still appraising my body over and over again. Ignoring, my families snickering, I took his hand, and lead the way out the cafeteria slowly. I could hear Emmett's cat calls, but I ignored them and headed out towards the P.E. rooms.

Edward grinned, and we sped up. Leading him through the narrow hallways, I almost ripped off the handle to the equipment closet (thank you, teacher conference period!) and led my Edward in. I closed the door and laughed when Edward smirked at the Alice/Jasper parallel. Then we met eyes...


	2. What Happens in Principal's Office

**Vampires Vs. School: Chapter Two**

_Author's Note: Finally..._

Edward and I finally pulled apart, albiet reluctantly. "We should probably get going," Edward said.

"Yeah...I guess we should," I sighed. We began picking up our scattered clothes, kissing passionately every now and then when we crossed paths—nearly rekindling our passion. We finally got dressed again, and I opened the closet door—right into coach.

**Edward POV**

"I don't know WHAT you're thinking! May I remind you that we practice abstinence in this school district, and that even if you were going to perform...those acts, you should have the discretion to act upon those...impulses at home!" The school principal, Mrs. Erotis, punctuated each syllable with a yell, each time inflicting a flinch upon both Bella and I. But then, in between, he could barely suppress laughter—Bella forgot to put her shield up, and every thought that went through her head was an exact contradiction of her spoken statement.

"Not only should you be ashamed for yourselves, but think of the staff and other students! You have disgusted all of them—_and_ ruined closets for them forevermore. Students will only think of such...actions when they come across closets. Your story will undoubtedly be gossiped about until no end!"

_Then again, the closet idea could prove useful for visits with Coach Calhoun._

"Pardon, but Mrs. Erotis, you do have a husband, don't you?"

"Edward! How dare you interrupt me—and for such a silly question. You know full well it's _Mrs_ not _Miss_! In anycase, it is my moral obligation to punish you accordingly. Seeing as you, however, were the first to do this misdeed, we must come up with some kind of appropriate punishment? Now, it is our policy to include students in our punishments here at McDame High. So...what would you assign yourselves as punishment?"

_Dear God, no wonder they were banging. I mean, I would _love_ to punish _him_...I still have those handcuffs...Oh get a grip! He's still a student!_

Shaking her head almost imperceptibly, the principal continued. "And...nothing to say?"

My gorgeous Bella looked over at me, a small smile teasing at her lips, threatening to erupt into full-blown laughter. I smiled back to her too, but I felt my eyes widened as I suddenly shared a vision of Alice. A vision I did _not_ want to see happen in real life. When the principal frowned and looked down, I turned to Bella and "vampire speak"-ed to her, as Nessie calls it, even though it's only talking done at such a low decibel only vampires can hear. "She's going to call Carlisle and Esme."

"Ugh, it's not like we're the only ones," Bella frowned. "If she is, I think I'm going to call the rest of our brothers and sisters out."

I laughed. "I don't suppose you have any proof?"

"Oh yes. Just wait and see, darling."

We had to stop our conversation, though, when the principal looked up—moving lips without sound coming out isn't conducive to keeping our secret.

"Your silence isn't going to make this any easier," Mrs. Erotis continued in a stern voice. "In fact, I think I have the perfect punishment. After five hours of detention, you and your parents will be required to take five additional hours of abstinence classes."

This time I could not contain my mirth. I burst out laughing, and soon I could hear Bella's laughter ringing out after me. That was when the principal's door opened—and Emmett came leaping in, a broad, boyish grin on his face.

"Can I join the party?"


End file.
